Son Myung Soon Lee:
The Grandmother I Never Knew

By Geoffrey Lee
11th Grade Student, Leilehua High School

When this project was first assigned, I thought to myself, who should I do this ancestor project on? As I continued thinking, I thought it would be great to do one on my deceased grandmother. As you read this paper, you’ll find all I know of my grandmother’s past history. My grandmother’s hard working life led to success for her kids. It is this value, to work as hard as you can in everything you do, that is my grandmother’s legacy. I hope that after you read this essay, you’ll see the success of working hard. It leads to many great things!

My grandmother died 19 years before I was even born. I do remember, however, times when my dad talked about his mom (my grandmother) and how hard life was for their family. He talked many times on how she single-handedly supported the family on her own since her husband only worked for a few years. I wanted to know more of my grandmother’s lifestyle. I wanted to see what similarities we shared, if any, and the differences in this generation compared to hers. I really wanted to know what I had missed, in terms of most students (peers) having grandmothers and having shared many experiences with them, however, none for me. I wanted to see what it would be like if she was still around. Would she be strict on me? Would she teach me how to cook Korean food? Would she set the same values as her kids? Questions such as these constantly build up for me.

I asked my dad many questions about my deceased grandmother. The questions I asked were—what was the location of her birth, what was life like, what were the values, traditions, customs in the family, etc., etc. The reason why I picked my dad was because my dad sometimes talked about his mom on how he missed her and strict rules he faced when he was young compared to the ones he gives me now and how lucky I have it compared to how he had it. I guess it was because I live in a different generation. After I was through with my dad, I knew somehow I had to ask my aunts and uncles whenever I had the chance or whenever I was up to it. The reason why I had to ask my relatives was because my dad was the youngest in the family and didn’t know all the answers. Besides, I wanted to see a different point of view.

The next time I ended up working on this project came months after the project was assigned. It was during Christmas Eve. I drove my Toyota Corolla to my cousin John’s house to celebrate Christmas and after my relatives ate, I decided it would be a good time to ask them numerous questions together as a bunch, or like a family. I felt that it would be good for them to sit together and think about the past together as a family, remembering the good and the bad times. As I was interviewing them, they had many laughs talking about the past. A lot of them, mainly the younger ones, didn’t know some answers to the questions because it was so long ago and also because they were too young and didn’t know the answers through their experiences. My relatives were very supportive in helping to answer these questions. The answers were mainly the same as my dad’s; however, there was a lot of extra information I learned!

My grandmother’s name was Son Myung Soon, a full-blood Korean lady, born in Pusan, South Korea, on September 30, 1902. When my grandmother was twenty years old, she decided that she wanted to come to America to start a life in Hawaii, since back home they were really poor. Her mother wanted to come here as well. To become a U.S. citizen, my grandmother went to school, where she passed many exams to become an American.

Then she received a picture of a man who lived in Hawaii and they were going to be a picture bride couple. My grandfather sent a picture to her when he was 39. However, the picture he sent wasn’t taken when he was 39; it was when he was 25. When my grandmother came here, she didn’t want to marry him because he was too old. She thought he was way younger based on what she had seen in the picture. The ticket she had was only one way from Korea to Hawaii so she had no choice but to marry him. She cried and cried since she was so unhappy. My grandmother and grandfather married each other in 1921. Her husband, Yi Jong Lee, was born in Seoul; however, he moved to Wahiawa, Hawaii, in 1911 since Hawaii needed sugar plantation workers. It was a great opportunity for him. When they lived together they lived in a Korean camp here in Wahiawa. Each ethnic group would work and live with one another back in those days in Wahiawa. It changed later on when people started buying or making new homes.

My grandmother didn’t wear traditional clothing when she came to Hawaii; she just wore regular clothes like many others, such as long dresses as well as the simple shorts and shirts. Since my grandmother had hardly any education, her occupation was running a military laundry where she worked for many years. After an uncertain number of years working, her husband quit working and took care of the seven children they had. The seven were Mon Pork, Mon Soon, Man Sung, Man Ho, Soony, Nasoon, and Sappelle. All of these children were born at home. Back then a midwife would come and help people give birth. They didn’t go to hospitals back then.

Life was very hard back then for their family; they barely had enough for food on the table. To cut the cost of many items, my grandmother raised chickens for their eggs, grew vegetables, and also had her own beehive so her family could have honey. Honey was very necessary back then since she used it a lot for Korean food. When my grandmother came home from work, she would have to prepare dinner for her children, which was mainly Korean food. Because my grandmother always worked, she had no time for hobbies. All she ever did was sew.

Because of their financial difficulties, my grandmother set limits for her children. They were only allowed to drink soda on a holiday, since it was so expensive for them. They only had a certain amount of clothes, so most of their clothes had to be worn all week. They didn’t have many toys when they were young, but the other kids did. Since her kids never had any money, they would do a lot of hard work. Doing things around the neighborhood such a cleaning windows, cutting the grass, and picking up trash was always done. They also tried finding jobs at stores or wherever they could find work if available.

One tradition my grandmother always had was to celebrate the New Year with many friends and family members. My grandmother would cook all the food (mainly Korean), which included meat jun, barbecue meat, kim chee, man doo, and many others. It would take her the whole day to cook and they would party at night. Another tradition my grandmother strongly held was for her kids to go to church every Sunday. Even with their money problems, she always had enough every Sunday for offering. She also strongly discussed again and again not to bring disgrace to the family. This included doing crime, going out to cause and make trouble. If this ever happened, my grandmother told her kids that she would disown them. My grandmother was very strict to her kids; consequently, any broken rule resulted in severe punishment. She had set high expectations and values upon them—to be better than she was, always work hard, and always sacrifice for one another in the family.

Her kids indeed followed these expectations and all of them became very successful. Her oldest son, Man Ho (Jerry), was recognized as the top civilian at Pearl Harbor. He later became a millionaire. Her second oldest son, Mon Pork (Porky), became a pharmacist. Her third oldest son, my dad, was a post office supervisor for more than 25 years and later became a supervisor at the baggage claim at the airport. Her oldest daughter, Sappelle, became a surgical technician. Her second oldest daughter, Soony, became a housewife, while her youngest daughter, Nasoon (Linda), became a nurse. As you can see, all of her kids turned out to be very successful, which in turn made her proud.

My grandmother worked until she was too old to work, when she could no longer handle the long hours of work. By then most of her kids were grown, and money wasn’t a huge burden anymore. The remaining years of her life were horrible, as she became very sick and died at age 60 of pancreatic cancer. Her husband died earlier (in 1946) of liver cancer when he was 65, which means she spent her life alone with my dad, who was in the fourth grade, for her remaining years. My dad took care of her through her suffering.

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